A Barber's Cat

My cousin thinks he's the next big thing. He's not even a side dish.

That guy at work talks like he invented the internet. He didn't even own a computer.

My grandma says her neighbor's cat is a 'Barber's Cat' because it thinks it's the boss of the whole block.

My grandad says the moon is made of cheese. He’s not even a kid anymore.

My dad swears he once fought a dragon. He’s never left the house.

My uncle told me he was a pirate. He doesn’t even know how to swim.

I ate three burgers and a cake. I'm gonna explode.

My sister ate the whole pie. She looks like a balloon about to pop.

My dog ate my homework. He's full and happy.

He let out a fart so loud it scared the dog.

She farted during the meeting. The boss didn’t even flinch.

My brother farts like it’s his job. It’s not.