a bad person

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5 views · Added 17d ago · 7 definitions

1
A bad person is someone who lives next to a zoo and still thinks they’re the cool one.
My neighbor screams at the giraffes every morning
He threw a banana at a penguin and called it art
He tried to convince the monkeys he was their long lost brother
2
A bad person is someone who did something so stupid that even God is rolling His eyes and muttering something about a reboot.
He stole the church’s holy water and used it to wash his socks
He told the priest his sins were just ‘a few bad days’
He tried to make a confession and it was just a rant about his ex
3
A bad person is someone who doesn’t pay their share of the rent and then tries to move in with your ex.
He tried to kick me out and said my bed was ‘too small for a grown man’
He took my favorite hoodie and said it was ‘his now’
He laughed at me when I got a B+ on my report card
4
A bad person is someone who thinks they’re the only one who matters and will stab you in the back with a fork.
He took my last slice of pizza and said it was ‘a personal attack’
He told my mom I was a ‘disgrace’ and she believed him
He laughed at my crush and said he was ‘boring’
5
A bad person is someone who kicks a cat or forgets to say thank you and then blames the shop for it.
He kicked my dog and said it was ‘a sport’
He didn’t say thank you and said the cashier was ‘rude’
He took my lunch and said it was ‘a compliment’
6
A bad person is someone who laughs at your doctor like they’re making a joke and then goes home and eats six ice creams.
He laughed at my asthma and said I was ‘overreacting’
He told the doctor he was ‘fine’ and then fainted
He took my medicine and said it was ‘just a snack’
7
A bad person is someone who’s a total jerk but still thinks they’re the best friend you ever had.
He called me a ‘wimp’ and said I was ‘weak’
He took my money and said it was ‘just a loan’
He cried when I left but then called me ‘a failure’
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