A 96

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A person who's not a 100, but still gives you a headache.

My ex is a 96. She's almost perfect, but she still texts me at 2 a. m. about her cat.

My brother is a 96. He's a straight-A student, but he fails at video games.

My mom is a 96. She's the best cook in town, but she still burns toast.

A weird way to look at the stars while your partner smells like old socks.

My boyfriend and I did the 96 last night. We talked about the universe and he smelled like gym socks.

My sister and her boyfriend do the 96 every Friday. They talk about life and he forgets to shower.

My dad and his girlfriend do the 96 every Sunday. They talk about the meaning of life and he eats pizza for breakfast.

A 69, but the people involved are arguing over who owes who money.

My cousin and his girlfriend did the 96 because he borrowed $50 and didn't pay it back.

My friends did the 96 and spent the whole time arguing about who forgot to clean the bathroom.

My brother and his girlfriend did the 96 and it turned into a full-blown fight about whose turn it was to do the dishes.

A 69, but instead of kissing, you let out a big one on their head.

My friend and his girlfriend did the 96 and he farted in her face. She yelled at him.

My brother did the 96 with his girlfriend and let out a big one. She ran out of the room.

My cousin and his girlfriend did the 96 and it turned into a full-blown fart war.

A 69, but you're both lying on your backs and just jerking off.

My friends did the 96 and just sat there jerking off.

My brother and his girlfriend did the 96 and it took 10 minutes before they even talked.

My cousin and his girlfriend did the 96 and it turned into a silent movie.

A 69, but you're both confused and just trying to figure out what's going on.

My friend did the 96 with his girlfriend and they both looked like they had no idea what they were doing.

My brother and his girlfriend did the 96 and it took 20 minutes before they realized they were both doing the same thing.

My cousin and his girlfriend did the 96 and it looked like they were both lost in a math problem.

A 69, but you're both giving each other a good squeezing instead of a good licking.

My friend and his girlfriend did the 96 and it looked like they were both trying to squeeze a pizza into their butts.

My brother and his girlfriend did the 96 and it turned into a competition of who could squeeze the most.

My cousin and his girlfriend did the 96 and it turned into a full-blown butt war.